How to Cut and Paste your Dreams into Reality

In my recent podcast with the fabulous Damone Roberts, we talked about the power of manifestation.

 

We all have personal and professional goals, plenty of new project ideas, and dreams that seem larger than life. One technique that helps to bring my ideas to fruition is to create a vision board. Vision boards can bring clarity to your intentions by helping you hone in on what you want to create.

 

Everyone’s process is different – here’s what I do to get ready to cut and paste my dreams into reality!

 

  1. Get in the Right Head Space

I usually make a vision board when I’m at a starting point – like around the New Year and on my birthday; it helps me get aligned with a new goal or a way to celebrate a trip around the sun.

 

I try to stay positive when I sit down to create because it is with that frame of mind that I will bring my dreams into focus.

 

VB1

 

  1. Gather The Materials That You Love!

There are no rules about what you make your vision board with. If you are an artist who likes to paint it out – do it! I am a writer – so I love to cut out words from magazines or doodle my own. My husband loves to make 3-D vision boards by putting pieces of twine, cloth or fabric together to bring his vision to life.

 

 

 

VB2

 

  1. Let Yourself Enjoy The Journey

Vision boards aren’t always completed works of art. They can be a great exercise to understand a true value you hold or a desire that needs to be surfaced. Don’t judge (“Oh, I couldn’t possibly manifest that!”) Instead – learn from what comes forth while you create.

 

VB3

 

  1. Place It Where You See it Often!

In the daily hustle of life, it’s important to remind ourselves of our inner visions. Our big dreams and small goals. So put this vision board where you can see it. I put mine in my office (above the computer) or in my closet, (where I see it while I’m getting dressed) this way I am surrounded by the vision I am bringing into form.

 

VisionBoard2 VisionBoard

Share!

Leave a comment

United State Of Women Photo Recap

This past Tuesday, I was honored to both attend and speak at The United State of Women Summit!

 

The Summit brought together thought leaders and community members passionate about gender equality, served to celebrate the progress we’ve made throughout the Obama administration and to discuss solutions to continue the work we are doing.

 

But for me, this event also served as a gorgeous coming together of my career tribe. I’ve been working in the women and girls empowerment space for over 20 years. You meet A LOT of incredible people over the course of two decades, and it was fulfilling and energizing to see hundreds of those people all together at this momentous event.

 

USOW2On Monday night, we kicked off this incredible event with my partners at Mattel and She Should Run. Our welcome dinner brought together leaders from all areas of women’s empowerment from bloggers to entrepreneurs, educators, public servants, and brand executives. I believe Change is a we thing, and this photo only touches the surface on how excited I get when all of the amazing people I know are in the same room!

 

USOW3
Lisa McKnight, SVP, Marketing, North America at Mattel
(check out Erin Cutraro trying to photobomb us! 😉 )

 

USOW4
Oh, there she is! Erin Cutraro, Co-Founder & CEO of She Should Run

 

USOW5
The next morning we headed out to The United State of Women Summit. Over 5,000 leaders were in attendance making so as you can imagine, the energy that filled the space was exhilarating!

 

The day opened with an address from Vice President Joe Biden. He addressed sexual assault and violence against women, leaving everyone with a very clear message: it’s on us to change the culture for survivors.

USOW6
From L to R: Juliana Chugg, Ana Flores, Jill Biden Owens, Jess Weiner, Jamia Wilson, Amy Poehler, Meredith Walker, Dr. Stacy Smith

After the VP’s speech I had the pleasure of hosting a panel on Revolutionizing Gender Norms. We had an AH-MAZING group of women including Meredith Walker and Amy Poehler – Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls at the Party, Jamia Wilson, Executive Director of Women Action Media, Ana Flores, Founder of Latina Bloggers Connect, Juliana Chugg, the EVP and Chief Brand Officer at Mattel, and my colleague Dr. Stacy Smith of the University of Southern California Media, Diversity, & Social Change Initiative.

 

Together this panel explored solutions around how to increase diverse representation in the media, deconstruct gender norms, and own our voices and stories.

 

USOW7
Two of my favorite Smart Girls!

 

USOW8
After the panel – we raced downstairs to get a good seat to hear The PRESIDENT of the United States, Barack Obama, who gave one of the best speeches of his career.

 

Best line of the President’s speech which was chock-full of amazing sentiment about women’s empowerment was: “I may be a little greyer than I was 8 years ago, but this is what a FEMINIST looks like”. Boom.

 

USOW9
And then this happened. I was invited to meet THE FIRST LADY!

 

I could barely speak but I did manage to utter, “I love you” about a zillion times. I’ve been fortunate to work with The First Lady’s office on important issues like gender stereotypes.

 

USOW10
As if all of this excitement wasn’t enough for one day – I had a chance to do a West Wing tour with my friends from Starfish. Starfish is a spectacular organization that is dedicated to unlocking and maximizing the potential of young women in Guatemala to lead transformational change. The two lovely women featured here are leaders in their community and are fighting for education reform in their country.

 

USOW11
The next day I definitely had a happiness hangover. I then headed over to the National Academy of Sciences to speak to other thought-leaders about explicit and implicit bias in media and how it impacts our families and children.

 

USOW12
In her closing remarks, Michelle Obama spoke about how important it was to open the doors of the White House for people who normally wouldn’t have access. I feel lucky to have been one of those people and they have allowed advocates (or advo-consultants) to use their powerful platform to raise the important issues impacting our women and girls.

 

It’s events like this, moments in history really, that make me take a step back and reflect on all that has happened over the course of my career. I can hardly believe all of the change I’ve been fortunate enough to be a part of throughout my time in this space, and I can hardly wait to see all that’s yet to come!

Share!

Leave a comment

5 Ways the Obama Administration Stepped Up for Gender Equality

 

Can I just say that I am SO. FREAKING. EXCITED. to host a panel on Revolutionizing Gender Norms at the first ever United State of Women Summit. The experts, thought-leaders, movers and shapers of our culture will all be there – and I will be recording a special episode of Talk To Jess so be sure to tune in!

 

Assembled by the White House, this Summit serves to bring together key leaders in the movement for gender equality to celebrate what we’ve achieved and discuss how we’re going to take action moving forward. Change is a WE thing, and together, we’ll make a powerful difference in the future of our country and the world!

 

Here are 5 (of the many) ways that the Obama Administration has helped to make progress on behalf of gender equality:

 

  1. Establishing the White House Council on Women and Girls

President Obama implemented the White House Council on Women and Girls almost immediately after he took office. Their mission is to ensure that the needs of women and girls are incorporated across programs and legislation, because women’s needs shouldn’t be an afterthought. I’ve been fortunate enough to work with the amazing people on the Council when hosting the White House Summit on Gender Equality, and trust me, they’re the real deal!

 

  1. Empowering Women Economically

The FIRST (yes, absolute FIRST) piece of legislation that Barack Obama signed into law was the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which protects people against gender-based pay discrimination. But Obama didn’t stop there! The federal government is working to empower and support women-owned and led businesses with programs like the Women-Owned Small Business Federal Contract. This program levels the playing field by guaranteeing that a portion of the government’s contracts (the U.S. government awards approximately $500 billion in contracts every year) are signed to women-owned businesses!

 

  1. Taking a More Equitable Approach to Education

The Obama administration placed emphasis on ensuring access to quality education, especially for low-income African American, American Indian, and Native Alaskan girls. In an effort to level the educational playing field for children before they begin kindergarten, they expanded childcare and early childhood education programs like Head Start. They also introduced the Supportive School Discipline Initiative, which explores the best way to keep schools safe and students enrolled in an effort to halt the school-to-prison-pipeline.

 

  1. Working to Ensure Equality in Housing

The Obama administration oversaw the first ever national study of discrimination in housing against the LGBT community, an especially important cause considering that homelessness is a grave issue that disproportionately affects transgender and gender-nonconforming folks. While there is still work to be done at many local and state levels, the national government ensured that Department of Housing and Urban Development’s housing programs do not discriminate based on gender identity or sexuality.

 

  1. Fighting to End Gender-Based Violence

The Obama administration has championed a number of task forces, bills, and programs that protect people from gender-based violence. The Violence Against Women Act serves to improve the criminal justice system’s response to gender-based violence, and it specifically addresses violence against Native American women and violence against LGBT individuals. This administration did an immense amount of work to combat the epidemic of sexual assault, from addressing the issue specifically on college campuses to bettering services available to survivors through funding and redefining sexual assault. They even implemented preventative measures through Joe Biden’s 1 is 2 Many campaign, that focuses on addressing violence against women specifically in youth relationships.

 

I am grateful that this administration has made women, girls, and gender equality a priority and have given marginalized voices the attention they’ve long awaited. There is no doubt still work to be done – but before we can keep moving forward it’s sometimes important to look back, celebrate and acknowledge the hard work that has taken place.

 

Onward!

 

Read more about it:

The Obama Administration Record for Women and Girls and Obama Administration Record for the LGBT Community

Share!

Leave a comment

Comparison is Toxic

Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

And it’s not doing self-discovery any favors, either.

 

That’s because your journey to self-discovery is about exploring what lights you up– and celebrating it!

 

When we compare ourselves to our friend’s selfie with 150 likes, the “perfect” parent who makes Pinterest-worthy baked goods, or our coworker who makes juggling multiple projects looks easy – we almost always end up feeling inadequate.

 

We know this already, so why do we still do it?

 

We compare and we strive to be perfect because we want to feel worthy. We think that being perfect will make us worthy of that love, success, or adoration.

 

But the truth is: you’re already worthy.

 

So how do you recognize this on a daily basis?

 

PRACTICE!

 

Here’s something that works for me:

 

  1. Every time I feel loved, I try to take a millisecond to feel gratitude. To soak it in. I may close my eyes after a sweet text from my husband. Or breathe in the compliment from a stranger. Or replay a kind word from my parents. I try to absorb and internalize that good energy. And it helps me recognize that there is enough to go around!

 

  1.  I enjoy admiring awesome people. Truly. I choose to feel inspired by the amazing thinkers and creators in my life (and choose to hang around them as much as possible) – because what you admire in someone else can make you shine, too.  

 

  1. When I stopped the constant comparison (and trust me, I do it less, but I’m not perfect – ha!) I found that I felt freer from anxiety producing thoughts and this crazy fear that I wasn’t good enough. Instead I have a lot more time to focus inward. To learn more about me. Spending more time on cultivating my inner life is what leads me to really appreciate the life I have.
Share!

Leave a comment

Inclusivity and Diversity: What’s the Difference?

“I really hate the word ‘diversity.’ It suggests something…other. As if it is something special, or rare. Diversity! As if there is something unusual about telling stories involving women and people of color and LGBTQ characters on TV. I have a different word: normalizing. I’m normalizing TV. I am making TV look like the world looks.” – Shonda Rhimes

 

There’s a lot of buzz around words like “diversity” and “inclusivity” in everything from media to business… but what do these words even mean?

 

They’re often used interchangeably, but really the two words are very much distinct from one another.

 

Diversity is simply variety. It is abstract, random, malleable, and, border-line SFSN (sounds fabulous, signifies nothing!)

 

What we should be striving for is inclusivity.

 

Shifting the conversation from diversity to inclusivity changes a person’s experience from:  

 

“I’m here because of my race/gender/sexuality/disability. I’m here because I’m different.”

 

To:

 

“I’m here because what I have to say is important, and I’m working with others to overcome the systemic barriers that keep my story from being told.”

 

Inclusivity incorporates the wholeness of individuals. People are more than their labels, more than their upbringing, more than their social status, more than their job.

 

Inclusive media is important so people can see themselves represented in culture. It makes them feel connected, rather than abnormal or “other.”

 

Being inclusive is beneficial for businesses, organizations, and other institutions, too. If you want to make something better, you need to bring in different types of people and their ideas.

 

Working toward consistently being more “inclusive” you are able to take in every part of the multifaceted individuals who make up your team.
Working toward being more “diverse,” not only do you miss out on every special component that make up the whole persons you work with, but you miss the point.

Share!

Leave a comment

Are You Paralyzed By Your Passion Project?

Have you ever had an idea that was so good, so delicious and spot on that you literally feel your body quake with possibility? You are CERTAIN this is going to work. It could be a creative concept, a new business plan or (finally!) that novel you want to write.

 

Your passion soars and then BOOM. You stop. The voices creep in. You are paralyzed by how much you love this idea. Fear creeps in. What if this can’t happen. Won’t happen. You summon up every reason why good ideas like this don’t manifest in your life. You begin proving to yourself how crazy you are for even thinking you could be so smart, special, (fill in the blank), _________.

 

You are not alone. We can get paralyzed by our passion to change the world. Our vision to create a new endeavor. Our hunger to make something new.

 

Here are a few gems of advice I’ve received that have helped me avoid passion paralysis. (Next up – taking action!)

 

  1. “Don’t Forget to Write It Down”: When I was a kid, my grandpa Michael used to say this to me all the time whenever I tried telling him some story I was making up. It ticked me off because I didn’t want to do “homework” – I just wanted to tell stories. But he was right. Taking pen to paper helps you protect and preserve those gorgeous ideas and holds them for you until you are ready to share them again. Writing down these brilliant brainstorms can also help you keep thought organized and accountable. Excuse me, while I go jot a few things down….

 

  1. “The Steam That Makes the Whistle Blow, Never Makes the Engine Go” – A great healer I worked with whispered this to me in the middle of a brag-a-thon.. I was so busy telling everyone my ideas about what I wanted to do – she warned me that I was giving away precious energy just talking about it when what ideas really want is someone to cultivate them, nurture them and grow their potential. This has never left me. Also – one of my favorite scribes Elizabeth Gilbert writes a lot about this in her book “Big Magic”. A must read.

 

  1. “Rejection is God’s Protection”. Honestly, I can’t remember who said this to me first but I tell myself this mantra about once a day. You have to trust in divine timing, too. Sometimes when a door closes it truly is to get you to move in a different direction. Work hard, take action, but surrender to the timing. That’s the hardest piece of advice and one I still work on day to day.

 

Share!

Leave a comment

3 Tips For Working With Difficult People

With every interaction we have at work – whether it’s with coworkers or bosses or clients – we’re bound to face people who are more (ahem) challenging to get along with. And trust me, I’ve worked with plenty of people in my career who I didn’t always vibe with.

 

But even though we don’t always enjoy the people we work with, I do think there’s something to be learned from every relationship.

 

Here are three ways to help you work and even (gasp) collaborate with some of your not-so-favorite people:

 

  1. Set Boundaries!

 

Every relationship needs guard rails and the trickier relationships definitely need to have specific and clear expectations. Don’t want to be emailed relentlessly at 2 am – let them know that the first time they do it. Feel triggered every time you get off a conference call with someone– make sure you schedule 10 min in between meetings so you can decompress and not carry it into the next interaction. Boundaries go both ways – make sure you set them for yourself and others.

 

 

  1. Don’t answer every email:

 

How amazing do you feel just reading that this is an option?!? Yes. You don’t have to answer every email from a person who you don’t enjoy. Don’t go radio silent but you also don’t have to jump every time they e mail you. Take a moment. Compose your thoughts. Walk away. Take the night. Unless it’s life or death, it truly can wait. This doesn’t just go for people who annoy you – but a good e mail lesson in general. Answer them when you are in a better mood. It’ll make a world of difference.

 

  1. Pick your battles:

 

Not everything is worth fighting for. Don’t waste your energy on the things that truly don’t matter. There will always be sucky people in the world. Don’t let them live rent free in your head for so long. Even if they hold positions of power – you hold the ultimate power – the gateway to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

 

Stop to think about what you can do to better the relationship on your end. And if you get to the point where you need to have a conversation with this person, be open to listening to their criticism as well. Listening and learning from our communication with others will ultimately help us grow.

Share!

Leave a comment

Bentonville Film Festival Photo Recap

For the past six months, I’ve been partnering with the Bentonville Film Festival to help bring their mission of championing women and diverse voices in media to fruition. If you haven’t heard of this festival yet – stop. Click the link. Then forward to all of your creative friends who have films they want to finish, share, and find distribution on!

 

We know the media is powerful, because it shapes how we see and experience the world around us. We talk a lot about accurately reflecting women and diverse voices in the media- but did you know that only 31% of speaking characters in top-grossing films are female and only 13% of leading characters in films are people of color. Behind the camera, minorities represent only 12% of directors and 7.6% of writers.

 

BFF is becoming part of the solution – co-founded by Trevor Drinkwater and Geena Davis and her institute – this is the only festival that guarantees distribution opportunities to winning films, so they are taking tangible steps to turn inclusivity into a reality.

 

FullSizeRender-1

On the first night of the festival, blogger extraordinaire Luvvie Ajayi of Awesomely Luvvie and I attended the opening film Equity. I don’t want to spoil the plot – the film comes out this summer but it was awesome to watch a film about Wall Street feature two female leads. What I loved most is that the movie showed women who love to make money. They weren’t the most likeable characters but that’s what I appreciated – if we want to change the ratio of women in media we have to get used to seeing women in roles that aren’t just saints or housewives. We have to see complicated women who reflect real life.

 

Just like Soledad O’Brien said in our most recent episode of “Talk to Jess: Conversations with Today’s Thinkers, Movers, and Shapers”, media representation is more than just bringing in different types of people — it’s about expanding the conversation and presenting new perspectives.

 

FullSizeRender copy

After the movie ended, NPR’s Alex Cohen moderated a live Q+A with Director Meera Menon and Producer/Actor Sarah Megan Thomas.

 

BTS Fun Fact: Part-way through the project, the filmmakers decided to make some of the leading male characters female. They didn’t need to alter any of the lines while switching characters’ genders. That’s how easy it is to establish parity in media – being conscious is the first step!

FullSizeRender-5

 

The next morning, I moderated the “Progress vs. Perfection” panel with experts ranging from the queen Geena Davis herself to Mattel, Walmart, and Kraft. I was thrilled to host this panel because I know first-hand what it takes to drive change on complex topics like inclusivity.

 

FullSizeRender-2Our panelists pictured from left to right: Geena Davis, Kathleen McLaughlin, Stephen Quinn, Dean General, and Barbie’s Lisa McKnight

 

We are witnessing culture shift quickly as businesses are bringing together economic goals with social initiatives – and proving that it’s possible for corporations and brands to do well by doing good. But in order to create tangible change, we need to unpack how that change can happen and these brands shared how they were spearheading initiatives in both product and personnel that address more inclusivity.

 

13124561_10156845201255405_3845323470369158671_n

The amazing Luvvie did a wonderful job as BFF’s resident social media queen and award show host! Check out her social world and don’t miss her interview with festival co-founder Geena Davis.

 

The Bentonville Film Festival is a truly unique festival. By guaranteeing distribution for its winners, it’s ensuring that diverse voices and stories are delivered straight into consumers’ homes.

 

You can help support BFF’s mission by spreading the word about the festival, encouraging filmmakers to submit their work, and following their social channels @BFFfestival for more info!

Share!

Leave a comment

Mom 2.0 Photo Recap

 

One of my favorite things about being Dove’s Global Self-Esteem Ambassador is the opportunity to reach different audiences with messages about confidence and the beauty of being you. Last week, I was at the Mom 2.0 Summit, which connects parent bloggers, content creators, and marketers around conversations that help shape how we see and think about today’s families.

 

The summit kicked off with an amazing conversation about the power of our words online with none other than the award-winning journalist (and my eternal #WCW) Soledad O’Brien.

 

Jess_Soledad_Dove

 

Soledad is such a genuine, open, and captivating person. We went from strangers (although I have to admit, I had a HUGE professional crush on her!) to chatting like old friends, taking selfies, and having her adjust the microphone on my bra strap!

 

FullSizeRender (12)

 

Jess_Soledad

 

During the keynote address, Soledad and I discussed the power of words, parents’ roles in how their children create and consume social media, and Dove’s recently launched #SpeakBeautiful Effect on Twitter that helps you identify the power of our online words and their impact.

 

With the rise of social media, everyone has the power and platform to share their stories and use their voices. It’s so important that we are intentional about the messages we send out and use those platforms to lift others up, rather than tearing one another down.

 

Jess_Soledad

 

Don’t think I won’t frame this!

 

Jess_Hollis

 

As if things couldn’t get any better – on day two – I hosted our famous Dove Self-Esteem workshops with the fabulous Hollis Heath, a fellow Dove Self-Esteem Educator who also works in New York City to help young people find their strength through education and creative arts.

 

Jess_Dove_SelfEsteem_Workshop

 

Our workshops also focused on the power of our words and how to rewrite our beauty story. We were joined by the amazing women from Mom 2.0, who not only participated in their own workshop, but then came back to mentor girls in another workshop.

 

I’m always moved by how open, brave, and willing participants are, and these women and girls were no exception. Seeing groups of passionate people engage with their journeys of self-discovery, regardless of where they may be on their paths, inspires me time and time again.

 

Girl scouts_Dove

 

We were joined by the Girl Scouts of Orange County who were so incredibly outspoken and creative in their answers about beauty and body image. Clearly these were girls who have been thinking about and talking about how to develop their confidence. Their answers would blow you away!

 

GirlScouts_Dove

 

We had everyone write their beauty story using just one sentence. And the catch? That sentence had to have just 6 words. Think of it as a mini-mini tweet. The girls were supposed to sum up the story they’d like to tell the world about their relationship and understanding to their own beauty and confidence. Here are just a few:

 

L: “Finding out that everyone is different.”

R: “Finding and expressing my inner creativity.”

 

I mean… 🙂

 

FullSizeRender (16)

 

Did a workshop really happen if we don’t take a picture??

Trick to getting a good smile – have everyone yell “1, 2, 3… Self-Esteem!!!”

 

FullSizeRender (17)

 

Mom 2.0 was an uplifting experience reminding me that, as long as we open ourselves up to seeing it, exploring it, and embracing it for what it is, #BeautyIs found in everyone around us.

 

If you want to learn more about the power of YOUR words and what you can do to leave a more positive digital footprint, check out Dove’s #SpeakBeautiful Effect on Twitter. It’s as easy as clicking “retweet” (literally).

Share!

1 Comment

3 Ways Bentonville Film Festival is Changing the Game

I’ve always been passionate about telling stories the world needs to hear. That’s one of many reasons I chose to partner with the Bentonville Film Festival—because I believe in their mission: to champion women and diverse voices in media.

 

Together, we are solving into a Hollywood epidemic: the lack of inclusion and diversity in mainstream media and the cultural call for more.

 

In front of the camera, only 31% of speaking characters in top-grossing films are female and only 13% of leading characters in films are people of color. Behind the camera, minorities represent only 12% of directors and 7.6% of writers.

 

It’s an enormous feat to take on, but here are three ways BFF is changing the game:

 

  1. BFF has created a powerful platform for filmmakers and content creators to share their rich, unique stories. In media, who is telling the story is just as important as the story being told. BFF is celebrating inclusion and producing career opportunities for all of the creative storytellers who don’t feel seen or heard. BFF isn’t just acknowledging women and diverse voices – they are championing them, bringing us closer to the marginalized voices absent from mainstream media.

 

  1. BFF is the ONLY film festival that guarantees distribution. By joining forces with broadcast and distribution partners like Lifetime, Starz, Walmart, and VUDU, BFF offers broad distribution packages to the winning films. This means that more types of films and TV shows are being delivered to a mass audience, giving greater visibility to diverse stories.

 

  1. BFF is leveraging research to measure, learn and change the current storytelling system. In order to respond to the cultural call for more inclusive media, we must first understand the current media landscape. With the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, BFF is using research to educate the industry and audiences. BFF is actively working to create better solutions to today’s diversity issues in media in order to better reflect the world we live in for today’s and future generations.

 

We all crave stories that resonate on a deeper level. We all want to see our world and our experiences reflected in the media we consume – it reminds us we’re not alone.

 

The stories we see and hear matter. If you can see it, you can be it.

 

Tickets and passes to the festival are available now at bentonvillefilmfestival.com.
You can also follow @BFFfestival and share why you support BFF with #WeAreBFF.

Share!

Leave a comment