Confidence Is Fashionable

What a fabulous day!

 

I never thought I’d find myself strutting my stuff down a runway at New York Fashion Week – yet, here we are!

 

Today I walked in designer Carrie Hammer’s “Role Models, Not Runway Models” fashion show! The vision of this show is to create a “runway revolution” by featuring a variety of bad ass professional women – from all different backgrounds, sizes, shapes, abilities and nationalities.

 

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Woke up bright and early—bare faced and full-hearted—feeling excited and inspired and overjoyed. Watch my morning pep talk here!

 

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First stop: Hair and make-up! That’s Tiffany and she did an excellent job glamming me up.

 

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Luckily, I had the opportunity to rehearse my fierce walk before the real thing and totally didn’t fall! (Which was my biggest fear)

 

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Showtime!! (At this point I’m thinking “Is this really happening?” and “Please don’t let me fall!”)

 

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AND BAM! There I am!! Today I wasn’t just talking about confidence; I was literally walking the talk in what one lovely Tweeter described as “Jess Weiner serving up some sass!” Yes, indeed.

 

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I was also joined by some incredible role models including CEOs, entrepreneurs, editors, and more – all celebrating inner and outer diversity and confidence. (Left to right: Michelle Herrera of Cosmo Latina, Melissa Miranda of PepsiCo, and Tolu Olubunmi of DREAM Act)

 

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After the show: Camera flashes! Press photos! Meet-n-greets! Just like that, my fabulous runway adventure had come to an end. Of course, a celebration wouldn’t be complete without my sweet husband there to root me on and the influx of love and support I received in person and on social media.

 

I love mentoring and role modeling because it also leaves me feeling inspired and supported and reminded that we’re not alone as we travel through this life.

 

So wherever you are in life – let’s all just take our place on the runway and WORK IT!!

 

XO

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Listening

Most days when I sit down to write these posts, I have no idea where to start.

 

I think about writing something witty, snarky, silly.

 

I think about using the time to uplift, inspire, educate.

 

I feel pressure to speak about my work, the business, stuff that makes money.
But if I’m silent enough. And still enough. What comes to me is this…

 

Sometimes I don’t want to write anything. I want to be in gestation, growing new ideas and thoughts. I don’t always want to produce for production sake, and I don’t want to worry about whether or not it gets a response.

 

In the silence, I can hear a smaller voice emerge, one that says to take a step back not forward. To sit not pace. To listen not talk. And if I do listen, I can hear the tiny sounds of new ideas rushing to be formed and my patience rising up like a swell.

 

I sit and I listen.

 

And I always end up writing.

 

But it’s never what I thought it would be.

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5 Things I Wish I Knew About Confidence

  1. It’s Messy: True confidence can look like you lived through a food fight with your emotions. You often have to travel down some rocky roads and building confidence never seems to look like those lovely movie montages where everything’s resolved at the end of a great song. Cultivating confidence in your life won’t look pretty all the time, so don’t try and hide the mess.

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  2. There is no time limit: I almost hesitated making this list because confidence can’t be achieved in 5, 10 or 20 easy steps. It’s an accumulation of your inner work and the risks you take in life to build your character. Self-discovery is a life long journey. So stop stressing if you aren’t where you want to be confidence-wise in your teens, 20’s or 50’s. It’s something we’ll probably never figure out really, so we might as well enjoy the ride.

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  3. It’s not permanent: It’s tempting to think that once you ‘have’ confidence you can maintain it for the rest of your life. But much like a gas tank for your car, the feeling of confidence must be replenished and filled up over time. It’s normal for even the most confident people to go through bouts of feeling down, defeated and broken. What’s important is not to give up on creating those moments in life where you are learning and growing, because it’s those experiences that actually build your confidence.

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  4. You will HAVE to feel pain: Sorry, but there’s no way around it. Feeling pain is an important part of growing confident. Because it’s when you get to the other side of pain, heartbreak, embarrassment, and fear that you figure out what it means to feel pride, strength, and resilience. And these are the building blocks of truly confident people.

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  5. It’s Ultimately Worth It: Learning to love your own company, discovering who you are in the face of adversity, achieving something you never thought possible, believing that you are worth feeling strong and supported — these are all the benefits of building confidence. It’s a marathon, baby, not a sprint. And we just started running.
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So…What Is Self-Discovery?

So many times we focus on the feeling of confidence or the result of having self-esteem but we don’t talk enough about the sometimes long, often arduous journey of getting there.

 

As you may have seen from my TEDx talk, I’m interested in exploring the role self-discovery plays in the world of confidence.

 

For me, self-discovery is the journey we take to better understand who we are. Independent of labels, relationships, past heartbreaks or future dreams. Self-discovery is the process of learning about…us.

 

It can feel a bit harder to discuss to because everyone’s process of self-discovery is different. And that’s what’s beautiful about this. My road and your road to feeling confident will never look the same.

 

So I’ve asked a few of my amazing team members (all under the age of 30, btw!) to share what self-discovery means to them:

 

Sara, 27: For me, self-discovery has been about learning personal accountability. How being mindful of and taking responsibility for my thoughts and actions has led me to better understand myself and make choices that are authentic to who I am.

 

Alyssa, 24: Self-discovery is a growth pattern of letting go and being open: letting go of what you thought you knew or were, being open to letting your heart and mind be changed.

 

Elizabeth, 25: Self-discovery, to me, is learning about yourself – your likes and dislikes, passions, weaknesses, skills, emotions, even the things you may have been avoiding. It is taking truth and knowledge head on, awakening yourself to the world around you, and reflecting on those experiences. We can only be fulfilled if we know what fills us up.

 

Brianna, 23: To me, self-discovery is understanding the experiences that have shaped me. It’s a process of identifying my beliefs and values and working to live by them. It’s realizing that my personal journey will involve happiness, excitement, fear, and doubt and embracing it.

 

Find us on Facebook and tell us what Self-Discovery means to you…

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The Confidence Myth

Let’s talk about how at some point, in everyone’s life –beauty fades.

 

At different ages, stages, and life cycles.

 

Because beauty isn’t a currency to take to the bank- character is.​

 

My TEDx talk, The Confidence Myth, is out!

 

In it I explore the messy, honest and often overlooked truth about “getting” confidence.

 

Hint: It’s time to talk more openly about the process of self-discovery.

 

Watch it below (and please share, like and comment if you enjoy!)

 

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Forget Balance – I’m trying Harmony

I don’t believe in a balanced life.

 

When I think of balance – I think of scales.

 

And I think of the goal as trying to get both sides of the scale to balance or even out.

 

But in my experience, my life isn’t about being even. It’s about embracing the flow, the fluidity and the uncomfortable process. That discomfort usually stems from an aversion to change and an over attachment to the Ego and what it wants. So I’ve found a concept that has really worked for me – seeking Harmony.

 

Even in the most chaotic of travel schedules, in the most pressure filled work meetings, and the disconnected times within our relationships, I seek harmony. Accepting what is. Being in the present moment. Feeling WHATEVER emotion is within me. I work on not fighting it, controlling it, or wishing it away.

 

I know this isn’t a new concept but it’s new for me. And the daily practice of it is changing my life. And allows me to enjoy the grace and space of all that comes my way.

 

The more I am in harmony with what is – the smoother I move from moment to moment. And this moment is all we have.

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Start With Why

We want to be a leader in this space. We want to support girl empowerment. We want to go viral.

 

Sitting in a client meeting, discussing a new marketing campaign, and ​then our team finally asks the simple question: “Why”?

 

At first, silence. And then, more questions. “Why are we doing this campaign? Why do we care about this issue? Why are we the right people to share it? Why is it important for our audience?”

 

As we begin to answer WHY this campaign makes sense for the brand and WHY it will resonate with their audience- things start to fall naturally into place. The messaging becomes clear; the emotional connection for consumers becomes authentic.

 

Simon Sinek’s, Start With Why tells us that people connect with brands that know what they believe. “They don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.”

 

It’s the simplest and sometimes most difficult question to answer. But it has changed the way I live- not just in my business, but in my life. What do I believe? Why do I do what I do? These questions have taught me to be trusting enough to let the WHY guide me.

 

Do you know your Why?

 

If you haven’t checked out Simon’s work – start with his TED talk – it’s excellent!

 

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