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Every time I stretch my body it always feels SO good. But I rarely do it. I just don’t think about it.

But we need to stretch to push our bodies, minds, and attitudes.

When we lean into the moments of discomfort, we can become more flexible on the other side.

Same is true for making social change. If we want to see the world differently, we have to stretch our own world view. So choose one thing this week that makes you stretch and go for it. Stepping out of our comfort zone keeps us curious.

And curiosity is a key tool for living a life well examined.

What will you stretch this week?

Whew.

It’s 2017.

Now what?

Congrats, we made it.

Still looking around a shit show of a government transition coming up.

And a year-long adventure of learning how to take care of ourselves while still fighting for civil and reproductive rights. You know, stuff you didn’t think you had to fight for in 2017!

But lest we fall into a slump of despair (that was SO last year) here is my pledge to you:

Let’s focus on Self-Care in 2017. In order to be good world changers, we have to start locally.

And I mean, super local…ourselves first. If we aren’t full of hope, anger, action, and community we just won’t get this world-changing work done. And as any good rule breaker, rebel maker, world changer knows…we have to fill up our gas tanks regularly in order to have the energy to SHAKE. SHIT. UP.

So here we go…each week I’m going to post one tip to help us focus on self-care while we also focus on making sure we America’s democracy doesn’t slip away while we are sleeping (or on our phones).  

I know it can get overwhelming. And we’ll want to numb out (again: phones) but try not to. Know that we are in this together. And please: if you have any self-care tips to add to this vibrant list – please send them our way on any of my social platforms (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn) and help a sister out!

For this very beautiful first week of the year, my first #SelfCare17 tip is to: Release

Whenever you are close to releasing something negative in your life (a relationship, a habit, a belief system) it’s normal that your old patterns will come up? They are usually there for you to see how far you’ve come or to gauge how far you are willing to go to change your life. Don’t get stuck in the past. Focus on releasing that which does not serve you anymore. You will create a space for what is to come. And it’s going to be so good, I feel it!

Remember, release is a verb – practice it daily. Don’t hold on to stuff that isn’t yours. And make that space.

More soon!

Jess

In the aftermath of the election results, so many people I speak to are still reeling in disbelief. Fatigued by the 24-hour spin cycle from cable news dissecting the results and trying to find various statistics to blame. Some people have taken social media breaks. Others have unfriended family and folks who just don’t share the same views. And still, others shout for us to calm down and “give him a chance.”

Well, sorry, but nope on that last one.

In the first week since becoming president-elect, Donald Trump has proven to be pretty good at making really bad choices for our country and the name of inclusivity and progress. An anti-Semite as your chief strategist, check. A man who couldn’t get approved as a Federal judge in the 90’s because he was SO racist as your State Attorney General, check. And honestly, the list continues, but I just can’t.

So here are 5 few things we can do to make sure we are staying woke, staying curious, and staying active.

1. Never normalize.  Do you remember the first few days after the election when it didn’t seem real? That uneasy feeling you had about the direction of our country and what this could mean for the future? Hold on to that. This election was not only historically unprecedented, but it also was and continues to be a threat to the values our country is supposed to protect.  A fact that might provide a small piece of consolation is that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by enormous margins. It sometimes helps to remember the majority of Americans did not vote for racism, sexism, and xenophobia.  As the news cycle continues to spin the hateful and bigoted acts of the president-elect into ordinary political rhetoric, #Resist. Don’t turn a blind eye or rationalize that “it could be worse.” There is no gray scale for hate. Don’t tolerate any of it.
2. Poke and Probe.  You know when children are young and are full of endless questions about everything? It’s exhausting, but it’s the best way for them to engage with the world around them. We need to take a lesson from kids on this one and not stop asking questions. Tough questions, obvious questions, genuine questions— everything is fair game because we are invested in the world around us and we deserve answers. It’s tiring, but important for democracy. Ask the questions enough and governing bodies will be forced to answer. We deserve transparency. Oh, and for everyone saying we are being “sore losers” for asking questions and feeling angry…check out #3.
3. Drop the Good Girl Act. Sometimes telling women they are “too angry” is really code for “Be a good girl and be nice.” Well, it’s not nice to paint a swastika on a park bench or tag “Heil Trump” on inclusive churches. It’s not nice to openly mock a disabled person or grab a woman by her “p***y”. So you know what, I’m dropping the good girl act and I’m feeling angry. It’s an emotion like any other and it has the power to drive us to action. I am not skirting this emotion because it makes others uncomfortable. Being oppressed but well-liked shouldn’t be the measure of any woman. Be vocal and make your point no matter who is in the room.
4. Honor the Self. We spend so much time working on ourselves. We learn to let go of the negative. We say we want to accept positive vibes only. But recognize that you can still practice self-care and self-love while expressing opposition. It is my love for humanity right now that fuels my righteous anger right now. When you see an injustice done, you should allow yourself to feel that rage because it comes from a place of love and compassion for others. You can also transmute that energy by taking action. Let the feeling bring you into a place of momentum – which brings us to #5.
5. Put Your Money Where Your Passion Is:If you want to mobilize the areas of social justice you care about, consider making a financial contribution (of any size). These organizations need your support now more than ever. And if you can’t financially donate, call and ask how you can give some time to volunteer. There are petitions galore circling around (and quite frankly I sign most of them) and lots of articles on calling your reps (which I’ve also done). But I also need to feel like I am aligning my emotions with action right now and so the organizations below are just a few that I’ll be making donations to this holiday season!

Southern Poverty Law Center

Planned Parenthood

ACLU

National Resources Defense Council

Everytown for Gun Safety

Trevor Project

Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund

Black Lives Matter

Stand with Standing Rock

Yours in Anger and Action,

Jess

Almost every single day we are exposed to images of unarmed Black men being murdered. I have felt broken on behalf of my brown brothers and sisters who are watching men, women, and children being gunned down without warrant. I wanted to write about what we can do as allies during this time. Because so many of us feel hopeless, helpless, and unsure of how to take action. It is not the responsibility of a person of color to explain this to us. To motivate us or to give us solace. It is up to us to act. And if what stops you from acting is the feeling that you don’t know what you could do that could actually help – then something I want you to consider is how to take a first step in taking care of yourself during this time.

I know you. You are a social warrior. A crusader for making change. I know you want to see justice and I know you want to spread love. And sometimes because of the privilege we have based on genetics or location, we often think we can look away during these times, especially when it’s “too much”. But I want us to consider those who can’t look away. Who can’t turn it off. Who can’t afford the privilege of dialing down their interest in this because it is their husbands, mothers, and children at stake.

So rather than looking away, I want you to look at something else.

If you spend all day on your phone and social feeds (or just if you are human), or if your career requires you to tune into social media, it’s impossible to get on Twitter lately without scrolling across a tweet with a name next to a hashtag, accompanied by #BlackLivesMatter. By now, we are painfully aware of what this means. Attached to the tweet is an autoplay video of a Black man (or woman) being fatally shot by our police force. The effects of this constant visual stimulation are traumatic; they ignite fear and a sense of helplessness. Many people then turn to social media to release their anger, fear, and even debate with others; trying to extend branches of empathy. The terrorizing snapshots showing the end of a valuable life are only half of the pain. What turns pain into trauma is the fact that likely, the murderer will walk away free of any legal accountability.

The barrage of this extremely graphic content is unhealthy for anyone’s mind, heart, and spirit. It calls us to take a step back and evaluate our own censorship around these tragedies. How do we weave through consistent media floods of tragic events in pop culture that can leave us feeling enraged and hopeless, all while protecting our minds and hearts? These events are real and we cannot simply ignore them. At the same time, we can’t bury our emotions for the sake of staying informed. We have to take care of ourselves, show love and find balance when we actually want to look away.

One solution can be found in substituting the negative images and messages in our media with more positive portrayals and narratives. Instead of completely tuning out, seek other stories instead. Bryon Summers created The We Love You Project to disarm hate and change the narrative of Black men and boys through the power of photography. The We Love You Project travels across the country to capture and share authentic portraits and stories of Black men and boys in our communities via social media. This project provides a simple, but powerful reassurance to Black boys and men: even though it feels like they are being murdered and destroyed constantly, they are still a part of a larger community that loves and supports them.

My favorite aspect of The We Love You Project is that it allows Black men to participate in creating, redefining and controlling the narrative being told about them in the present. This spreads a universal message that speaks to the power we have as media creators and consumers. By the time we see videos of unjust killings, we know it’s too late to change the narrative told by the media. Since we can’t change the content of the past, together we can create more positive content for our future.

The We Love You Project shows the world that Black men are not only human and should be treated as such but, also that they are loved. Negative images seen in mainstream media are the images that brainwash Black men and boys (and all of us) into believing there is truth behind them. But they are not worthless. They are not trash. They are someone’s son, brother, cousin, uncle, husband or father. They are human.

Taking control of your own image and representation is powerful, positive reinforcement. It creates truthful examples of who we can aspire to be and it can break a cycle of negative stereotype association. Racism is a system that was put in place long before our generation lived. But now, we have the power to control the media we consume and create, so we must protect our minds from this content to avoid living out of a dark space and keep hope alive.

I work with an amazing organization called Starfish Impact, which aims to create global gender equality by offering educational and leadership opportunities to indigenous girls in Guatemala. Run for and by the indigenous community, Starfish is the epitome of #ChangeIsAWeThing – using collaboration, community resources, and innovative empowerment strategies to lay a sturdy foundation for tomorrow’s leaders.

One of the best benefits of working with an organization like Starfish is absorbing new insights and wisdom from the people I collaborate with. This held true while on my most recent trip to Guatemala, when I learned a new word, “chispa” which means, “spark.”

The world changers I know in my life (many of whom I’m now interviewing for my podcast Talk to Jess: Conversations with Today’s Thinkers, Movers, and Shapers) all share a similar Chispa. They are all lit up by helping others become their best. Whether they run an organization that encourages girls to lead, or help women look deeper within to find their sense of purpose, or lead a start up innovating technology, the people I most admire are constantly in service to and protecting that spark.

Have you found your Chispa yet? If not, don’t worry. Here are three things to get you started!

1. Follow the Fire:
   You know that fire in the belly you get from connecting with someone fabulous, from reading a juicy piece of poetry, or waking up in the middle of the night from an inspiring dream? Listen, learn, and follow that fire. When you are excited, curious, intrigued – that’s a good sign you are connecting to your spark.

2. Stay Curious:
   Now, once something lights your Chispa, explore it. Contemplate it. Act on it. Rather than shy away from something new and unfamiliar stirring within you, let it guide you in creating something new – perhaps a book or a business or a healthy lifestyle change. Curiosity is a key ingredient for self-discovery.

3. Trust in Timing:
   If you’re not feeling a spark all the time, relax – it’s normal. We can’t glow 24/7 – trust in the timing of your ignition, nurture yourself with good care, slow down, dig deep, and know that in any moment – bam! That spark could hit. And you’ll be ready when it does.

Can I just say that I am SO. FREAKING. EXCITED. to host a panel on Revolutionizing Gender Norms at the first ever United State of Women Summit. The experts, thought-leaders, movers and shapers of our culture will all be there – and I will be recording a special episode of Talk To Jess so be sure to tune in!

Assembled by the White House, this Summit serves to bring together key leaders in the movement for gender equality to celebrate what we’ve achieved and discuss how we’re going to take action moving forward. Change is a WE thing, and together, we’ll make a powerful difference in the future of our country and the world!

Here are 5 (of the many) ways that the Obama Administration has helped to make progress on behalf of gender equality:

1. Establishing the White House Council on Women and Girls

President Obama implemented the White House Council on Women and Girls almost immediately after he took office. Their mission is to ensure that the needs of women and girls are incorporated across programs and legislation, because women’s needs shouldn’t be an afterthought. I’ve been fortunate enough to work with the amazing people on the Council when hosting the White House Summit on Gender Equality, and trust me, they’re the real deal!

2. Empowering Women Economically

The FIRST (yes, absolute FIRST) piece of legislation that Barack Obama signed into law was the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which protects people against gender-based pay discrimination. But Obama didn’t stop there! The federal government is working to empower and support women-owned and led businesses with programs like the Women-Owned Small Business Federal Contract. This program levels the playing field by guaranteeing that a portion of the government’s contracts (the U.S. government awards approximately $500 billion in contracts every year) are signed to women-owned businesses!

3. Taking a More Equitable Approach to Education

The Obama administration placed emphasis on ensuring access to quality education, especially for low-income African American, American Indian, and Native Alaskan girls. In an effort to level the educational playing field for children before they begin kindergarten, they expanded childcare and early childhood education programs like Head Start. They also introduced the Supportive School Discipline Initiative, which explores the best way to keep schools safe and students enrolled in an effort to halt the school-to-prison-pipeline.

4. Working to Ensure Equality in Housing

The Obama administration oversaw the first ever national study of discrimination in housing against the LGBT community, an especially important cause considering that homelessness is a grave issue that disproportionately affects transgender and gender-nonconforming folks. While there is still work to be done at many local and state levels, the national government ensured that Department of Housing and Urban Development’s housing programs do not discriminate based on gender identity or sexuality.

5. Fighting to End Gender-Based Violence

The Obama administration has championed a number of task forces, bills, and programs that protect people from gender-based violence. The Violence Against Women Act serves to improve the criminal justice system’s response to gender-based violence, and it specifically addresses violence against Native American women and violence against LGBT individuals. This administration did an immense amount of work to combat the epidemic of sexual assault, from addressing the issue specifically on college campuses to bettering services available to survivors through funding and redefining sexual assault. They even implemented preventative measures through Joe Biden’s 1 is 2 Many campaign, that focuses on addressing violence against women specifically in youth relationships.

I am grateful that this administration has made women, girls, and gender equality a priority and have given marginalized voices the attention they’ve long awaited. There is no doubt still work to be done – but before we can keep moving forward it’s sometimes important to look back, celebrate and acknowledge the hard work that has taken place.

Onward!

Read more about it:

The Obama Administration Record for Women and Girls and Obama Administration Record for the LGBT Community