Self-Esteem – Page 3 – Jess Weiner Blog

What Comes After You Enjoy The Moment?

What’s the point of achieving your dreams if you don’t take time to enjoy them? We’ve talked about the importance of soaking in your moment and feeling gratitude for where you are and what you’ve achieved.

But what happens once you’re well into that job you were working toward, once you’ve attracted that great relationship or achieved that health goal? What happens once you reach your dream and it (gasp) becomes the norm??

What do you do after you’ve enjoyed your moment?

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Happy:

I know the “doer” voice in our heads wants us to move right on to the next big goal. But stop. Sit still. Allow yourself to feel happy. Give yourself the grace to really, fully feel appreciative of the accomplishment. Banish the thoughts that want to move you swiftly into goal setting again. Even the best climbers take a moment to enjoy the view before moving again.

2. Be Open to What’s Next:

So you’ve finally crossed it off your to-do list. Now what? Time to dream again. Remain open to the possibilities. Let inspiration and intuition guide you. It’s not a race – it’s a journey. And it’s yours and yours alone. Make a pact with yourself to start again with new visions, new moments to manifest. It doesn’t have to be bigger or better than the last one (that’s perfectionist thinking!). Moments come in all shapes and sizes. Decide which next moment is ready for you to claim.

3. Keep Moving:

Don’t get too attached to the journey looking the same for every accomplishment. Even if dreams or goals don’t work out as you’ve planned, keep moving. That’s resilience. Bounce back, learn from it and keep the growth in motion. Remember, this life isn’t graded, it’s not pass/fail – enjoy the process that unfolds for you…because that next amazing moment is always right around the corner.

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December 4, 2015April 5, 2016

Spreading Confidence with #PearlxChange

This past weekend I had the incredible opportunity to join Nicole Richie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Marianne Williamson and few hundred other new friends at the first ever Pearl xChange conference in Los Angeles.

The event gathered a diverse room of women (and some men) to collaborate, inspire, and take action on a personal, professional, and even a global level. Together we explored our varying paths to success and confidence.

Taking my place on the not-so-red carpet before the show! I’m joined by speakers: Nicole Richie, Psychic Dougall Fraser, Event Producer Ramey Warren and Astronaut (and bad ass) Jeanette Epps.

Nicole did a lovely job hosting and offered a few wise words of her own throughout the day. In her opening remarks she discussed the power of collaboration and openness as a source of empowerment.

“When you’re open, the world is your oyster, and you can create whatever you want…Your mind + my mind is going to help us evolve” –Nicole Richie

I was first up at the mic, which was exciting because I had the opportunity to set the tone for the day – the women in the audience were so receptive, warm, and affirming.
We spoke about that messy path to confidence!

“It does us no good to be resentful of the path that got us here…Forgive, elevate, and move on” — Jess Weiner

Shadi Mehraein gave some solid advice to the entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs in the audience citing her ups and downs along her journey to becoming a successful venture capitalist, investing in women-led markets.

“You’re only going to fail when you give up” — Shadi Mehraein

Marianne Williamson is incredible. If you’ve never been in her audience, know that she speaks with enough power and conviction to mobilize a nation. Marianne discussed the importance of showing up and being there to support one another.

“How are you changing the world & how can I help?” — Marianne Williamson

Dougall Fraser has a gift – but he won’t attribute this to his psychic abilities – no, his gift is reaching people at a vulnerable level and guiding them to their own intuitions. According to Dougall, fear diminishes our power and our power is within our own intuitions.

“We have to carve out time to be still” — Dougall Fraser

Jeanette Epps offered an amazing perspective about both advocating for yourself and your responsibility beyond yourself. Her insightful perspective on the world stems from the fact that she’s seen the world from a few vantage points – including from space and within the CIA.

“I didn’t let anyone define who I would be… I defined who I would be in the world.” — Jeanette Epps

Gwyneth Paltrow took the stage to answer some questions from the audience. She spoke candidly about her divorce, her business, and her philosophy of friendship (even bestie Cameron Diaz was there to support!)

“As soon as I can put a pause in between the negative voice in my head and what I’m feeling, I can get back to myself.” — Gwyneth Paltrow

The diverse paths of each speaker and attendee reminded me that no one’s journey to success or confidence will look the same – nor should it. Life’s twists and turns are often what help us to move forward.

As Nicole Richie summarized in her closing, “Pearls are beautiful on their own…but when you add more pearls to the strand, you become more valuable.”

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November 10, 2015April 5, 2016

Change One Thing

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Each of us can probably rattle off a part of our appearance we wish was different. So it may not surprise us that the latest research from Dove reveals 9 out of 10 girls want to change at least one thing about the way they look. Where this becomes problematic is that we know 60% of girls will stop doing something they love based on how they feel about the way they look. We can change this by shifting the way we speak, think, and act around the concept of beauty.

This is the foundation behind Dove’s latest campaign #ChangeOneThing. We’ve been conducting self-esteem workshops and helping women and girls think more critically about beauty stereotypes. I’ve spent the last month kicking off workshops from Minnesota to NYC, Cincinnati to Arkansas.

Our main message: It’s not girls who have to change, but our culture!

At our NYC launch event, I’m joined by Franchesca Ramsey (host of MTV’s Decoded), Sarah Hammer (Dove Brand Manager), and Dr. Jen Hartstein to help lead an inspiring workshop for girls and their mentors.

Before the event, I was interviewed about how we can change our culture by changing the way we post and share on social media.

Here I am leading the workshop! We also announced Dove’s partnership w/ Pinterest to reveal 80 new self-esteem pins designed for Moms, Mentors and Educators. Dove has reached over 17 million girls with self-esteem programming with workshops just like this.

We had the girls and mentors make real-life Pinterest boards to share their positive messages with the world.

This wonderful girl standing next to me is 10-year-old Olivia Allen. She is the founder of the “I Can Be” Girls Confidence Conference – an event for girls and their parents to develop higher self-esteem. Can you imagine creating a conference like this when you were 10?

The next day, I flew out to Cincinnati to film a news segment with Good Morning Cincinnati !

Then we hosted two back-to-back workshops with the Boys and Girls Clubs of Cincinnati.

Their wisdom and energy had me thinking about this:

We can help redefine what is beautiful by using our social media platforms to spread positivity and acceptance. Within our families, friends, classrooms, and communities, we’re constantly shaping the world by what we post online.

It could be one word or comment.
One image or video.

Being mindful about what we communicate is what creates opportunities to shift our culture in big and small ways.

We all have the power to #ChangeOneThing.

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October 13, 2015April 5, 2016

How To Enjoy Your Moment

We work so hard.

Go to school. Train. Pray. Sacrifice. Repeat.

We dream so big.

Face disappointment. Bounce back. Fall down. Repeat.

We psych ourselves up.

Pep talk. Cry. Mope. Pep Talk. Repeat.

We make vision boards.

We chant mantras.

We tell our secrets to friends in hopes they come true.

We wish ourselves to sleep every night with what we desire.

We daydream and fantasize about the moment.

Then it happens.

The new job.

The love of your life.

The healthier body.

The promotion.

The green light.

The go-ahead.

The moment you’ve been waiting for.

And you stress.

Worry, Feel Anxious, Doubt. Repeat.

Question your deservedness.

Beg for a bit more time.

Swear you are unprepared.

Sabotage. Suffer. Shrink. Repeat.

But what if you enjoyed your moment.

Soaked it in.

Breathed it out.

Wallowed in the goodness happening now.

Believed you were worth it.

Smiled at the thought of it.

The taste of it.

The feel of it.

Reminded yourself you are allowed to feel good.

And then actually felt good.

Without guilt. Remorse. Or Shame.

You can enjoy your moment.

All you need to do is – feel grateful.

Repeat.

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September 22, 2015April 5, 2016

Confidence Is Fashionable

What a fabulous day!

I never thought I’d find myself strutting my stuff down a runway at New York Fashion Week – yet, here we are!

Today I walked in designer Carrie Hammer’s “Role Models, Not Runway Models” fashion show! The vision of this show is to create a “runway revolution” by featuring a variety of bad ass professional women – from all different backgrounds, sizes, shapes, abilities and nationalities.

Woke up bright and early—bare faced and full-hearted—feeling excited and inspired and overjoyed. Watch my morning pep talk here!

First stop: Hair and make-up! That’s Tiffany and she did an excellent job glamming me up.

Luckily, I had the opportunity to rehearse my fierce walk before the real thing and totally didn’t fall! (Which was my biggest fear)

Showtime!! (At this point I’m thinking “Is this really happening?” and “Please don’t let me fall!”)

AND BAM! There I am!! Today I wasn’t just talking about confidence; I was literally walking the talk in what one lovely Tweeter described as “Jess Weiner serving up some sass!” Yes, indeed.

I was also joined by some incredible role models including CEOs, entrepreneurs, editors, and more – all celebrating inner and outer diversity and confidence. (Left to right: Michelle Herrera of Cosmo Latina, Melissa Miranda of PepsiCo, and Tolu Olubunmi of DREAM Act)

After the show: Camera flashes! Press photos! Meet-n-greets! Just like that, my fabulous runway adventure had come to an end. Of course, a celebration wouldn’t be complete without my sweet husband there to root me on and the influx of love and support I received in person and on social media.

I love mentoring and role modeling because it also leaves me feeling inspired and supported and reminded that we’re not alone as we travel through this life.

So wherever you are in life – let’s all just take our place on the runway and WORK IT!!

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September 10, 2015April 5, 2016

Listening

Most days when I sit down to write these posts, I have no idea where to start.

I think about writing something witty, snarky, silly.

I think about using the time to uplift, inspire, educate.

I feel pressure to speak about my work, the business, stuff that makes money.
But if I’m silent enough. And still enough. What comes to me is this…

Sometimes I don’t want to write anything. I want to be in gestation, growing new ideas and thoughts. I don’t always want to produce for production sake, and I don’t want to worry about whether or not it gets a response.

In the silence, I can hear a smaller voice emerge, one that says to take a step back not forward. To sit not pace. To listen not talk. And if I do listen, I can hear the tiny sounds of new ideas rushing to be formed and my patience rising up like a swell.

I sit and I listen.

And I always end up writing.

But it’s never what I thought it would be.

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September 3, 2015April 5, 2016

5 Things I Wish I Knew About Confidence

It’s Messy: True confidence can look like you lived through a food fight with your emotions. You often have to travel down some rocky roads and building confidence never seems to look like those lovely movie montages where everything’s resolved at the end of a great song. Cultivating confidence in your life won’t look pretty all the time, so don’t try and hide the mess.

There is no time limit: I almost hesitated making this list because confidence can’t be achieved in 5, 10 or 20 easy steps. It’s an accumulation of your inner work and the risks you take in life to build your character. Self-discovery is a life long journey. So stop stressing if you aren’t where you want to be confidence-wise in your teens, 20’s or 50’s. It’s something we’ll probably never figure out really, so we might as well enjoy the ride.

It’s not permanent: It’s tempting to think that once you ‘have’ confidence you can maintain it for the rest of your life. But much like a gas tank for your car, the feeling of confidence must be replenished and filled up over time. It’s normal for even the most confident people to go through bouts of feeling down, defeated and broken. What’s important is not to give up on creating those moments in life where you are learning and growing, because it’s those experiences that actually build your confidence.

You will HAVE to feel pain: Sorry, but there’s no way around it. Feeling pain is an important part of growing confident. Because it’s when you get to the other side of pain, heartbreak, embarrassment, and fear that you figure out what it means to feel pride, strength, and resilience. And these are the building blocks of truly confident people.

It’s Ultimately Worth It: Learning to love your own company, discovering who you are in the face of adversity, achieving something you never thought possible, believing that you are worth feeling strong and supported — these are all the benefits of building confidence. It’s a marathon, baby, not a sprint. And we just started running.

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September 1, 2015April 5, 2016

So…What Is Self-Discovery?

So many times we focus on the feeling of confidence or the result of having self-esteem but we don’t talk enough about the sometimes long, often arduous journey of getting there.

As you may have seen from my TEDx talk, I’m interested in exploring the role self-discovery plays in the world of confidence.

For me, self-discovery is the journey we take to better understand who we are. Independent of labels, relationships, past heartbreaks or future dreams. Self-discovery is the process of learning about…us.

It can feel a bit harder to discuss to because everyone’s process of self-discovery is different. And that’s what’s beautiful about this. My road and your road to feeling confident will never look the same.

So I’ve asked a few of my amazing team members (all under the age of 30, btw!) to share what self-discovery means to them:

Sara, 27: For me, self-discovery has been about learning personal accountability. How being mindful of and taking responsibility for my thoughts and actions has led me to better understand myself and make choices that are authentic to who I am.

Alyssa, 24: Self-discovery is a growth pattern of letting go and being open: letting go of what you thought you knew or were, being open to letting your heart and mind be changed.

Elizabeth, 25: Self-discovery, to me, is learning about yourself – your likes and dislikes, passions, weaknesses, skills, emotions, even the things you may have been avoiding. It is taking truth and knowledge head on, awakening yourself to the world around you, and reflecting on those experiences. We can only be fulfilled if we know what fills us up.

Brianna, 23: To me, self-discovery is understanding the experiences that have shaped me. It’s a process of identifying my beliefs and values and working to live by them. It’s realizing that my personal journey will involve happiness, excitement, fear, and doubt and embracing it.

Find us on Facebook and tell us what Self-Discovery means to you…