Girl, bye.
The old adage “choose your battles” has never been more applicable.
With the constant flood of news and 24-hour social media access, simply choosing who and what to engage can be exhausting.
We wade into difficult conversations and there are always some folks who want to gaslight, harass, and derail us.
It’s not constructive. It’s not healthy.
And guess what? It’s not mandatory that you engage. Part of self-care is choosing to opt out.
Don’t feed a troll. Block them!
Sometimes self-care can feel like self-indulgence. But it doesn’t have to be! Anytime I’m struggling in my practice or questioning why it’s important, I remind myself that I am connected to a higher power and a greater good. When I remember that the causes I’m fighting for are far bigger than me but that I am still an integral part of the fight, I am strengthened. It’s a great reminder that you must take care of yourself so you can be at your best for the collective.
My entire career as a social entrepreneur and advocate has been dedicated to widening the images we see of women and girls in the media. I’ve seen first hand how a young woman’s life can change when she feels reflected in the media or entertainment she consumes. It’s not trivial. In fact, it’s vital that we, the world’s largest exporter of media images, lead that business with full inclusivity and recognition of what the world truly looks like.
When President Obama took office he talked about opening up the White House to everyone.
I have always been inspired by the Obamas’ commitment to using their platform as a power for good. I am still in awe of the variety of artists, academics, humanitarians, engineers, and change makers they have invited in. I mean even the musical Hamilton was workshopped there! I feel incredibly grateful and proud to have been one of the voices they included. I worked with the White House Council on Women and Girls over the last eight years convening on and exploring the state of affairs for girls in tech, education, and media. Last April, we were able to bring together the forces I work with in my world to host one of the most comprehensive gatherings of industry, parent advocacy groups, and academic researchers focusing on gender stereotypes in toys and media.
The White House Council on Women and Girls, The Department of Education and USC’s “Media, Diversity, and Social Change Initiative” held a summit on how gender stereotypes impact our children’s ability to dream. The day’s agenda covered the influencing forces in boys’ and girls’ lives, the effects that gender stereotypes can have on their perceptions, and the steps people and businesses are taking to eradicate stereotypes. Our goal was to ensure that children can grow to reach their full potential in life, not stifled by norms or stereotypes that could inhibit their self-actualization. As someone who has spent 22 years studying and working in this field, that summit felt like a cumulating moment. I was so proud and humbled to see the key stakeholders, decision makers, and leaders in that space come together and engage in honest dialogue.
Before this administration, we were all having conversations in private or separate spheres, but in April we were all together sharing our research, thoughts, and brave steps forward. Major businesses, including Disney, Mattel, LEGO, and Warner Brothers, shared their compassion and understanding toward parents’ demands for better representation, and demonstrated how they are stepping up to the plate. Other up-and-coming companies, such as littleBits, showed us that there are still countless avenues for ingenuity in toys and media to help kids grow. Researchers and academics presented their latest findings on the challenges and opportunities in boys’ and girls’ lives as well as the importance of media so we could make informed decisions. Activists and parents brought their irreplaceable voices to the forefront sharing their experiences and the demand for more. All of these different perspectives are essential to spur future action. Most importantly, every group, regardless of differences, came to the table to have an open and authentic discussion in order to drive change.
Now, more than ever, we need camaraderie and openness to build a future path that will advance gender equality. No person or group can achieve such a lofty goal alone. Divisiveness will only hinder progress. This important meeting of both private and public sector stakeholders fueled a lot of change that we will be seeing in our retail spaces for years to come. Sharing information, finding allies, and building networks will help manifest positive change.
We all need to feel inspired by #YesWeCan moments that create positive momentum in our lives, instead of focusing on when we feel defeated. The summit has been a motivating force in my life because it was an agent of significant positive change.
#YesWeCan create media that is an inclusive representation of our multifaceted society.
This post was written by Jess Weiner and Elizabeth Hedge, who shared the badass experience of planning and executing the Summit on Gender Stereotypes in Toys and Media together in partnership with the White House Council of Women & Girls in Washington D.C.
Every time I stretch my body it always feels SO good. But I rarely do it. I just don’t think about it.
But we need to stretch to push our bodies, minds, and attitudes.
When we lean into the moments of discomfort, we can become more flexible on the other side.
Same is true for making social change. If we want to see the world differently, we have to stretch our own world view. So choose one thing this week that makes you stretch and go for it. Stepping out of our comfort zone keeps us curious.
And curiosity is a key tool for living a life well examined.
What will you stretch this week?
If you haven’t seen Hidden Figures yet, do not wait any longer! The story of Mary Jackson, Katherine Johnson, and Dorothy Vaughan, three African-American women who provided NASA the mathematical data to launch one of our country’s first successful space missions, is one that has never been told in Hollywood.
This is why representation matters. How often do we see a Hollywood film where women, especially women of color, are being brilliant human computers? Not often. And this story is real American history! Right now, I urge everyone in this country to see this film and bring a little girl in your life along with you. Our girls need to see this inspiration. We all do!
Fun fact to add motivation, Hidden Figures became the #1 movie in America at the box office after opening weekend! Let’s keep it going! Let’s prove that these are the stories and films that Hollywood should spend millions of dollars in producing.
This story is one of the most important stories that could be told in the current state of our society. We need to continue to encourage the Katherine’s, Mary’s, and Dorothy’s of tomorrow. Let’s start by sharing the truth today. Go see #HiddenFigures!
Whew.
It’s 2017.
Now what?
Congrats, we made it.
Still looking around a shit show of a government transition coming up.
And a year-long adventure of learning how to take care of ourselves while still fighting for civil and reproductive rights. You know, stuff you didn’t think you had to fight for in 2017!
But lest we fall into a slump of despair (that was SO last year) here is my pledge to you:
Let’s focus on Self-Care in 2017. In order to be good world changers, we have to start locally.
And I mean, super local…ourselves first. If we aren’t full of hope, anger, action, and community we just won’t get this world-changing work done. And as any good rule breaker, rebel maker, world changer knows…we have to fill up our gas tanks regularly in order to have the energy to SHAKE. SHIT. UP.
So here we go…each week I’m going to post one tip to help us focus on self-care while we also focus on making sure we America’s democracy doesn’t slip away while we are sleeping (or on our phones).
I know it can get overwhelming. And we’ll want to numb out (again: phones) but try not to. Know that we are in this together. And please: if you have any self-care tips to add to this vibrant list – please send them our way on any of my social platforms (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn) and help a sister out!
For this very beautiful first week of the year, my first #SelfCare17 tip is to: Release
Whenever you are close to releasing something negative in your life (a relationship, a habit, a belief system) it’s normal that your old patterns will come up? They are usually there for you to see how far you’ve come or to gauge how far you are willing to go to change your life. Don’t get stuck in the past. Focus on releasing that which does not serve you anymore. You will create a space for what is to come. And it’s going to be so good, I feel it!
Remember, release is a verb – practice it daily. Don’t hold on to stuff that isn’t yours. And make that space.
More soon!
Jess
