As girls, we are taught to say yes, even at the expense of our own heart. As women, we can be so worried that people won’t like us, that we talk ourselves into something we don’t want. Not only is this unhealthy, but it’s dangerous! Do yourself a favor, and practice saying no. Even when you are uncomfortable, even when you don’t feel like it, saying no is like exercising a muscle, it needs repetition. No is not only a full sentence, but for many, a first step in really learning to love yourself.
Category: Women’s Empowerment
#SelfCare17: Volunteer
Most writers will tell you they’ve suffered blocks where they focus on assignments and just can’t break through. Then one day they’re walking, showering, or shopping and BOOM! It all starts flowing. Well self-care can be a lot like writing. It requires focus, reflection, and self-expression. It’s a lot, and sometimes doesn’t flow as easily as we’d like. Volunteering is a great way to get your mind off of you. While doing good for others you can break through your self-care rut and feed the part of you that naturally nurtures.
10 Awesome Women to Follow on Instagram
Before I get into my list, I want to say that my ENTIRE social media community is worthy of a loving shoutout (and a zillion fist-bump emojis!). The daily messages we create and share about empowerment, equality and inclusion would be nothing without an awesome community to exchange with.
In honor of Women’s History Month, I wanted to share 13 of my favorite Instagram accounts owned and operated by women. These women create inspirational, educational, and empowering content that I could spend hours scrolling through (and do). If you don’t already know them, check them out and give them a follow.
- In the Insta-world of fitness models, we tend to see little size diversity. Enter @louisegreen_bigfitgirl who uses her platform to represent and showcase fit bodies of all sizes. She’s also got a great new book coming out that I (ahem, ahem) wrote the foreword for. No big deal. Get it now!!
- @usowomen…Obviously! The work that the United State of Women do everyday is shaping the culture that our next generation of girls will experience. The work we’ve done together (hello 2016 summit anyone??) will always be one of my most valued experiences. They have their work cut out for them in 2017, but look to them on great, tangible ways to join the #Resistance!
- This is my OG girl crush for all things empowerment: @amypoehlersmartgirls. Without a doubt, one of the best pages to turn to for global girl power and smart, cutting-edge leadership. Special squeezes to @puzzlesmom who leads this awesome parade!
- @euniquejg is my new girl crush. She’s the real deal, full of heart and fire, and has created a vital account with @becauseofthem. They had a beautiful Black History Month campaign (you can still go check it out) and their content is important to share with everyone (especially your kids!).
- @Amani speaks truth and power and her her Insta-platform for @muslimgirl is no different. She’s created the most popular digital platform for Muslim women and they have phenomenally talented writers who pen their perspectives on current news and experiences; a definite must-share for everyone!
- @laflowers has created the most incredible Latina blogger community of almost 20k strong over at @weallgrowlatina. You can count on them for funny, poignant, and powerful content – te adoro!
- My senator @kamalaharris has one of the best political Instagram accounts I’ve seen. Even after her campaign, she continues to be a trailblazer for change through the informative content she shares everyday. 2020 anyone?
- The girl crushes continue with @senduckworth. She frequently posts updates on what’s happening in government and is such a superstar bad ass that you will wish that a zillion more Tammy Duckworth’s were in government. (Psst… see #9 for help with this!)
- Since the election, over 6,000 women have enrolled in an incubator program to help them run for office. And who’s behind this incredible program? One of my favorite organizations @sheshouldrun. If you have ever thought about running for office or know someone who should, definitely check them out!
- Another one of my favorite nonprofits out there is @shesthefirst. They are literally changing the game for girls (and therefore the world) with their vision to help women around the globe become the 1st in their families to receive education.
#YesWeCan Change The Way Media Portrays Women and Girls
My entire career as a social entrepreneur and advocate has been dedicated to widening the images we see of women and girls in the media. I’ve seen first hand how a young woman’s life can change when she feels reflected in the media or entertainment she consumes. It’s not trivial. In fact, it’s vital that we, the world’s largest exporter of media images, lead that business with full inclusivity and recognition of what the world truly looks like.
When President Obama took office he talked about opening up the White House to everyone.
I have always been inspired by the Obamas’ commitment to using their platform as a power for good. I am still in awe of the variety of artists, academics, humanitarians, engineers, and change makers they have invited in. I mean even the musical Hamilton was workshopped there! I feel incredibly grateful and proud to have been one of the voices they included. I worked with the White House Council on Women and Girls over the last eight years convening on and exploring the state of affairs for girls in tech, education, and media. Last April, we were able to bring together the forces I work with in my world to host one of the most comprehensive gatherings of industry, parent advocacy groups, and academic researchers focusing on gender stereotypes in toys and media.
The White House Council on Women and Girls, The Department of Education and USC’s “Media, Diversity, and Social Change Initiative” held a summit on how gender stereotypes impact our children’s ability to dream. The day’s agenda covered the influencing forces in boys’ and girls’ lives, the effects that gender stereotypes can have on their perceptions, and the steps people and businesses are taking to eradicate stereotypes. Our goal was to ensure that children can grow to reach their full potential in life, not stifled by norms or stereotypes that could inhibit their self-actualization. As someone who has spent 22 years studying and working in this field, that summit felt like a cumulating moment. I was so proud and humbled to see the key stakeholders, decision makers, and leaders in that space come together and engage in honest dialogue.
Before this administration, we were all having conversations in private or separate spheres, but in April we were all together sharing our research, thoughts, and brave steps forward. Major businesses, including Disney, Mattel, LEGO, and Warner Brothers, shared their compassion and understanding toward parents’ demands for better representation, and demonstrated how they are stepping up to the plate. Other up-and-coming companies, such as littleBits, showed us that there are still countless avenues for ingenuity in toys and media to help kids grow. Researchers and academics presented their latest findings on the challenges and opportunities in boys’ and girls’ lives as well as the importance of media so we could make informed decisions. Activists and parents brought their irreplaceable voices to the forefront sharing their experiences and the demand for more. All of these different perspectives are essential to spur future action. Most importantly, every group, regardless of differences, came to the table to have an open and authentic discussion in order to drive change.
Now, more than ever, we need camaraderie and openness to build a future path that will advance gender equality. No person or group can achieve such a lofty goal alone. Divisiveness will only hinder progress. This important meeting of both private and public sector stakeholders fueled a lot of change that we will be seeing in our retail spaces for years to come. Sharing information, finding allies, and building networks will help manifest positive change.
We all need to feel inspired by #YesWeCan moments that create positive momentum in our lives, instead of focusing on when we feel defeated. The summit has been a motivating force in my life because it was an agent of significant positive change.
#YesWeCan create media that is an inclusive representation of our multifaceted society.
This post was written by Jess Weiner and Elizabeth Hedge, who shared the badass experience of planning and executing the Summit on Gender Stereotypes in Toys and Media together in partnership with the White House Council of Women & Girls in Washington D.C.
Why You Need to See “Hidden Figures”
If you haven’t seen Hidden Figures yet, do not wait any longer! The story of Mary Jackson, Katherine Johnson, and Dorothy Vaughan, three African-American women who provided NASA the mathematical data to launch one of our country’s first successful space missions, is one that has never been told in Hollywood.
This is why representation matters. How often do we see a Hollywood film where women, especially women of color, are being brilliant human computers? Not often. And this story is real American history! Right now, I urge everyone in this country to see this film and bring a little girl in your life along with you. Our girls need to see this inspiration. We all do!
Fun fact to add motivation, Hidden Figures became the #1 movie in America at the box office after opening weekend! Let’s keep it going! Let’s prove that these are the stories and films that Hollywood should spend millions of dollars in producing.
This story is one of the most important stories that could be told in the current state of our society. We need to continue to encourage the Katherine’s, Mary’s, and Dorothy’s of tomorrow. Let’s start by sharing the truth today. Go see #HiddenFigures!
Meijer Eliminates Plus-Size Section
The fashion industry has a history of making Plus-Size women feel more like the “other.” Go shop in the “other” section. Select from these “other” styles and designs, and pay these “other” prices.
From my own experience (and the 200+ comments on my Facebook post), treating plus-sized women like the “other” can make something as ordinary as shopping a real self-esteem downer. It comes with many inconveniences and, if you LOVE fashion like I do, it can make you feel unworthy of being stylish in your own skin.
When one of my favorite actresses, Leslie Jones, couldn’t find a designer to make something for her to wear to her “Ghostbusters” premiere, she took to social media to express her frustration.
You are not alone @lesdoggg!
Anyone who has ever had to separate from friends at the mall while on a shopping trip knows how frustrating it is. You just want to shop for the same cute styles as the next girl—in YOUR size. Yet, we have to part ways and enter the section of over-priced and under-fashioned clothing (and why on earth is the Plus-Size section always by the appliances anyway?).
Did you know that the average American woman now wears between a size 16 and a size 18? The industry calls us “plus-size women,” a term that fashion consultant and television personality Tim Gunn would like to erase. He says the fashion industry needs a makeover “because plus-size women deserve fashion – and we deserve the same amount choices offered to straight sizes.”
I couldn’t agree more, and Meijer agrees too.
Meijer recently announced that by 2017, they’ll have eliminated the “plus-size department” — combining all sizes on the same rack across 230 stores in the Midwest. Finally, an open-door invitation for all people who love fashion to enjoy a positive shopping experience — and that’s good for business!
This will completely change the shopping experience at Meijer, creating a space that allows all women shop together based on fashion trend, not size. They are also selling all clothing in all sizes at same price — THANK YOU!!! 🙏🏼
Check out this video from Meijer’s “Plus-Size” elimination and inclusion announcement. You can really feel the happiness and joy in JoElla’s heart in this video – I feel it too! This is a great example of what brands can do to make consumers feel connected, included and SEEN. Love it! More please!
5 Ways To Survive This Election Season
This election season has shown us sexism on a national scale and at its absolute worst. The vitriolic and toxic words of Trump are not only jarring but terrifying. Especially for women. This candidate holds no respect for women or anyone else who is different from him.
During this entire campaign, we’ve yet to hear a single statement from Donald regarding his actual plans for policies, but we’ve heard more than enough.
More than enough to know that in this election, there’s no such thing as NOT voting for Hillary Clinton.
With today being the last day to register in California (make sure you’re registered) and voting day only a few weeks away on Nov. 8th, one of the most important things we can do (besides voting) is maximize our self-care until we’ve awakened from this nightmare. Let’s protect our well-being so we continue to be inspired and create solutions that progress our society forward.
As someone who has spent 22 years fighting to give women’s voices more of a platform on a national and global stage – it is important for me that when we usher in our first Female president (and definitely most qualified candidate running!) that we are also in a good head space to continue the fight. Because fight on we will have to.
But first, let’s reset our energy!
Here are 5 tactics to help you survive the stress-inducing 2016 Presidential Election:
- Turn off the news and go outside. Yes, this does include closing out of our social media feeds and timelines. Unplug from the digital world cluttered with things beyond our immediate control. Put your feet in the grass and remember that the world (and America) are already wonderful.
- Turn on satire. Watch shows like “The Daily Show” and “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee” to stay informed of news stories, but also soften the punch with a little humor. Honestly, laughing has been a tremendous help to balance the “WTF” moments I’ve been having.
- Pet your puppies & kittens. Seriously. Pets rule. Give them some extra love. They have a peaceful, calming effect.
- Change your media focus. Be sure to balance the inevitable, negative news stories with more positive and inspiring content. Cue more puppy/kitty videos.
- Have meaningful conversations with loved ones. Leave the politics out of the convo and just make sure you are telling the people you really love how you feel about them. By giving and having love and connection with your true community you can counter any negativity with positive real-life one on one.
10 Creative Women In Hollywood You Should Be Following
Diversity.
Inclusion.
Equality.
These words are hot topics of discussion in the entertainment industry lately. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re aware that Hollywood has a huge diversity & inclusion problem. Our media is supposed to represent the extremely diverse society we live in, yet far less than half of American TV and film is created by people who don’t identify as white or male.
The Media, Diversity & Social Change (MDSC) Initiative at USC’s Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism calls this an #InclusionCrisis. Their newest study shows that,
“Behind the camera, female directors were just 4.1% of those hired on the 800 films evaluated between 2007 and 2015 (excluding 2011). Women of color were almost absent from these ranks, with just 3 Black or African-American females and 1 Asian female in the director’s chair. Overall, directors from underrepresented racial groups fared poorly. Only 5.5% of the 886 directors examined were Black or African American and 2.8% were Asian or Asian American.”
A common excuse I hear for this #InclusionCrisis is that executives “can’t find” women creatives (up-and-coming and seasoned veterans) to hire for work.
Well, I’m here to give them a shout; loud and proud! Here are 10 stand-out, creative women in Hollywood we should ALL be paying attention to.
P.S. It was actually extremely hard to narrow my list down to 10 because there are actually so many to choose from. (Here’s a list of 90 more women where these came from.)
1. Ava DuVernay
Ava is the director of Selma, I Will Follow and Middle of Nowhere. Her newest production, OWN TV’s Queen Sugar (television show), was created in collaboration with Oprah Winfrey. She is the first black woman to direct a film nominated for Best Picture (Selma) and the founder of ARRAY; a distribution company geared toward female filmmakers and people of color.
2. Debbie Allen
Debbie Allen is an actress and well-seasoned television director (countless episodes over nearly 30 years). Recently, she directed episodes of Scandal and Grey’s Anatomy (where she also appears as a character in a recurring role).
3. Elizabeth Banks
Elizabeth is the producer of Pitch Perfect, both the first and the sequel (as well as acting in it as a cappella commentator, Gail). Rightfully so, Universal Studios hired her to direct the upcoming third Pitch Perfect. She’s also said to be working on a Charlie’s Angels reboot.
4. So Yong Kim
So Yong is a writer-director who’s made 3 drama films: In Between Days, Treeless Mountain and For Ellen. She picked up a Special Jury Prize at Sundance for her first film, In Between Days, about a Korean girl navigating immigrant life in Canada.
5. Gurinder Chadha
Gurinder directed Bend It Like Beckham, helping to launch the careers of many actors (like Keira Knightley, Parminder Nagra, and Archie Panjabi). She also directed British film, Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging, which raised the profile of Aaron Taylor-Johnson. She’s currently working on an animated DreamWorks musical about Bollywood.
6. Martha Coolidge
Martha is the ONLY female president in the history of the Directors Guild of America. With a few decades of working in the industry, she’s also directed a plethora of interesting films like: Real Genius, Valley Girl, Rambling Rose and Introducing Dorothy Dandridge.
7. Anne Fletcher
Ann Fletcher revitalized Sandra Bullock’s acting career in 2009 by directing romantic-comedy, The Proposal (which gave Bullock her biggest success ever at the time). She also helped put Channing Tatum on the map by directing the first Step Up film.
8. Julie Taymor
Julie directed a huge (over $6-billion-gross-huge) musical stage production of Disney’s The Lion King. She’s also directed content about some of the world’s most iconic artists: 3 Shakespeare adaptations, a Beatles musical, an Oscar-nominated biopic of Frida Kahlo
9. Dee Rees
Dee is the writer and director of Pariah; a refreshing “coming-out” story about a young black lesbian in Brooklyn, NY (Adepero Oduye). She also directed the recent HBO mini-series, Bessie (starring Queen Latifah).
10. Gina Prince-Bythewood
Gina is the director of 2014’s highly-underrated Beyond the Lights, The Secret Life of Bees, and the 2000 classic romance film Love & Basketball. She has also written several episodes of the iconic American TV show “A Different World.”
And there we have it. 10 women creatives who definitely deserve seats in the director’s chair for Hollywood’s blockbusters.
Learn their faces and their accolades. Bring these directors up in conversation. Share this list with a friend. If we shout out these incredible women loud and long enough, Hollywood will have to listen.
#BlogHer16 Closing Keynote Recap
It’s not often that we get to have honest, public discussions with a few hundred folks about intersectional feminism and activism. That’s exactly what we did at the closing keynote of the #BlogHer16 conference this past Saturday. I was honored to moderate this inspiring panel conversation about how people in the public eye can use their platform for activism. As well as about how we all can serve to be better allies to the causes that move us.
My long-term partners at Dove kicked off the panel sharing about their new campaign #MyBeautyMySay and it’s right on time for the Olympics! The media too often makes comments about female athletes and their appearance rather than focusing on their accomplishments. And have you read these headlines lately?? Now accomplished female athletes are being described by their husbands rather than their own achievements!
So leave it to our panel of bad asses to break it all down! I was joined by the incredible: Jurnee Smollett-Bell and Matt McGorry, and professional boxer Heather “The Heat” Hardy. As actors and athletes in the public eye they are also fighting for social justice – whether it’s HIV/AIDS awareness, civil rights, racial and gender equality or equal pay. They are all utilizing their privilege and public platforms to speak out.
We dug into what makes a good ally – especially to causes where you are not the predominant demographic effected (think: how to be a good white ally for Black Lives Matter) and also how to fight injustice within your own field of business (think: how to challenge sexism and racism amongst your co-workers and bosses). Not easy subjects for sure. But this panel handled it with such clarity, grace, and courage. We could have gone on for hours more. So much work still left to do. But catch up on some of the highlights below.
And remember this is a conversation that is just in its beginning stages – we have to continue to work together and have the hard conversations because #ChangeIsAWeThing.
Panel Conversation Highlights:
Hey media! Let's set the bar higher – represent us the right way. #MyBeautyMySay #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/7PmSoLOjv9
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"I NEVER wanna see my daughter feel like 'I'm sorry I'm a girl.'" @HeatherHardyBox #BlogHer16 #MyBeautyMySay pic.twitter.com/J7n8J5Dapc
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"As a white man, I have the chance to amplify the voices of those who are unheard." @MattMcGorry #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/fXAkc0KsTd
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"As allies, we have to know that it's ok to do something wrong. That's how we do it better." @MattMcGorry #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/RPt524xU75
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"The greatest threat isn't the KKK, it's the privileged person who doesn't take a stand." @MattMcGorry #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/7EnN9bDqAC
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"I NEVER wanna see my daughter feel like 'I'm sorry I'm a girl.'" @HeatherHardyBox #BlogHer16 #MyBeautyMySay pic.twitter.com/J7n8J5Dapc
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"A man who fights in the same ring as me will make 14-15 times more money than me." @HeatherHardyBox #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/yuKwLvlmRB
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
Support @HeatherHardyBox – watch her fight August 21st on @NBCSports! 9pm #BlogHer16 #MyBeautyMySay pic.twitter.com/RWuH1xXQGU
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"We're in 2016 and only 4% of directors in our industry are African-American women." @jurneesmollett #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/fFJC1ktgwb
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
"I've given myself a mandate to practice what I preach. Be a walking example of truth." @jurneesmollett #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/84ODiruGhv
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
Support @HeatherHardyBox – watch her fight August 21st on @NBCSports! 9pm #BlogHer16 #MyBeautyMySay pic.twitter.com/RWuH1xXQGU
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
@jurneesmollett gives us her favorite activists to follow online #BlogHer16 pic.twitter.com/kts0knpCsE
— Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) August 7, 2016
Too bad I didn’t enjoy myself.
The whole BlogHer team!
3 Ways (not) to Blow Your Interview
A season of transition is upon us. Summer is slowly turning into fall as we begin the month of August. I always love this time of year because I know that I’ll be back in the classroom teaching personal brand development to future professionals at USC. For a lot of recent graduates, this is a very exciting time. Many are wrapping up their last summer internship or a vacation and preparing to enter the workforce and launch their careers with a new position. This means doing a lot of strategic job hunting, and even more importantly, planning for successful interviews.
Interviews can be tough when you’re new to the process, trying to break into a new industry, or design a new career path. I’ve had plenty of experience with interviewing candidates for positions with my company Talk To Jess, LLC (learn more about our company transition by signing up for our newsletter!). From great interviewers to interviewers who have room for improvement, I’ve seen and talked to them all. Through lots of practice and avoiding these three mistakes before, during, and after the interview, we can all take control of our careers and receive offers for any job we truly desire.
Mistake #1 (Before the Interview): Manipulating the interview process to meet your needs, instead of being flexible to meet the needs of the employer
One thing that completely turns me off is an interviewee who tries to manipulate the interview process to fit their personal agenda. Asking the interviewer if you can re-schedule a meeting for a certain day/time because you have another appointment creates a less-than-favorable first-impression. Before even meeting, asking for special accommodations paints a picture that you will always try to manipulate a situation to fit your needs, without concern for the needs of the company. Always allow yourself to be flexible when prospecting a job opportunity. Show your interviewer that you’re willing to go the extra mile to land your position. The ball is ultimately in their court – you are trying to earn your spot on the team. Clear your schedule of other appointments when possible. Show your interviewer that their time is just as valuable as your own, and this will create the best first impression.
Mistake #2 (During the Interview): Not being specific about your experience, skills, and what you bring to the table, along with things you want to accomplish in the position
An interview is really your opportunity to show a prospective employer specific examples of your experience and any applicable skills you’re able to bring to the company. Saying you have excellent time management and organization skills or that you can do the job efficiently is simply not enough. When an interviewer asks you the infamous question, “Tell me about yourself,” they aren’t asking to find out your favorite color or where you went to school. Your interviewer is looking for specific examples – or anecdotes – about your past experience related to the position. Always be prepared to follow this question with anecdotal examples that answer why you’re qualified for the position, why you’re interviewing for the position, and tactical examples of what you’ll accomplish once on the job. You’ve got 30 minutes to show the interviewer that you’re equipped to bring success to the company – deliver the details that prove why you’re the best candidate for the job.
Mistake #3 (After the interview): Not following up or sending “thank you” notes
The level of engagement and dedication in your follow up tells an interviewer how hungry you are for the job. I’ve had candidates who interviewed extremely well and showed me why they’re qualified for the job, however, I did not end up hiring them. Why? Because they failed to follow up with me in a way that made them stand out amongst other candidates. Following up is the single most important skill to have in any business or career. Being persistent and saying thank you shows the interviewer that you are both very interested in the position and value their time (and yours). It may be old-fashioned, but handwritten thank-you notes still go a long way in the job hiring process. A handwritten note leaves a takeaway for the employer and shows that you care enough to add that extra personal touch to your representation. If you are committed to following up, a potential employer will commit you to their memory too.
Honorable mention (At all times): Giving weak handshakes
This is a personal pet peeve of mine (hey, I’m a professional brand developer). Please practice your handshake before meeting and greeting people you want to network with! An interview is not only a part of the job hunt; it’s also a networking opportunity. Shake a person’s hand with conviction. Don’t give out weak handshakes – that’s exactly how you’ll represent yourself: weak and lacking confidence. When you shake someone’s hand, be firm and look them in the eye. Exude confidence and make them feel like they’ve just connected with someone worth knowing.
Avoiding these mistakes ultimately show an interviewer that you possess empathy and pay great attention to detail (a requirement for any job). The job searching process can be a long one, but every successful interview is an opportunity to leave a lasting impression for your personal brand and take control of creating the career you want. Think forward and walk in the very best version of yourself before, during, and after your interview.